短篇英语演讲稿带翻译(精选多篇)

第一篇：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

① goldfish金鱼

stan: i won 92 goldfish.

fred: where are you going to keep them?

stan: in the bathroom 。

fred: but what will you do when you want to take a bath?

stan: blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!

=================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

② the revenge 欺骗的代价

old farmer johnson was dying. the family was standing around his bed. with a low voice he said to his wife: "when i'm dead i want you to marry farmer jones." wife: "no, i can't marry anyone after you." johnson: "but i want you to." wife: "but why?" johnson: "jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

=================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

③ i think that i'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡

psychiatrist: what's your problem?

patient: i think i'm a chicken.

psychiatrist: how long has this been going on?

patient: ever since i was an egg!

=================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

④ how do i get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来

distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. when the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "i'm meeting my wife right away. how do i get the gum out from my ears?"

===================================================================

当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

⑤ where am i 我在哪儿

an englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. he saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "excuse me, can you tell me where i am?" "yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."=================================================================

一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”

⑥ why do you never phone me?你为什么不给我打电话？

mrs harris lives in a small village. her husband is dead, but she has one son. he is twenty-one and his name is geoff. he worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. its name was greensea. it was quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, but geoff said, "there isn't any good work for me in the country, mother, and i can get a lot of money in greensea and send you some every week." mrs harris was very an ……此处隐藏1418个字…… be pushed forward not only in the activities of english studying but also in that of applications today and tomorrow.

objectively speaking, as we all know, china has been developing for about 20 years and at the moment it is still marching forward at certain surprising high growth rate in world history and is continuing to be involved into the international society much more deeply than before in every aspect such as global economy, international politics, culture intercourse, education exchanges, inter-state trades, and military interplays as well. a more opened china and the much more and heavier global roles and the international responsibilities it is taking and it is pursuing demand more and more skilled experts who are well trained and well experienced in the international communication in english and other languages in all these areas. and therefore, it is true, that the development situation at present and trend in front of us undoubtedly will imply some more serious challenges and more profound opportunities for everyone and already did. all these are forcing us to pick up or continue to study english, or it would not be a chance for anyone to be invincible anyway as previous in this hard-to-breath tide of development unless you are ready to be dead.

nowadays, china is transforming into a more improved market economy system to its perfection, anyone should not ignore the booming market and the arisen competitions surrounding him or around the corner and no one can avoid the shock from it. whoever you are, and no matter where you stay in the state-owned or private enterprises, there is no where for you to be harbored, thereupon you would better actively to make a show out of yourself and supplement where you lack to tackle different and more and more complicated business and works. for instance, you shall be well qualified to what you are working at, and you should be able to balance with those who came with you in the same year or even later and were with high degrees and good background but now they have differed in position, payment and other treatments as well. that is a very exigent task for almost every one of us.

surely, indeed, the fact is that we are english oriented now and we are working to keep up with times. i believe after years of running in studying english, we would eventually be one of the best order-made qualified candidates for any challenges and better opportunities. if the various knowledge and english are with us, nothing can be against us.

nevertheless, be sure to remember don’t be always content with any historical achievements you have made and don’t forget to review periodically and to study english continuously more in depth and width with a plan of when and where needed, as every body is running like you. don’t give up and relax by far when you encounter difficulties. a daily but continuous effort you are *** today will bring what you expected when you decided on and it will do.